How to Know You’re a Substitute Teacher

1. You take cheap vacations the first two weeks of September every year.
2. It doesn’t really matter how the students pronounce your name – as long as they are polite – you’ll answer.
3. You choose schools based on the best staff room conversation.
4. You’ve done Jump Rope for Heart three times this past week.
5. Ditto for holiday assemblies.
6. You’re really skilled at the library’s computer system.
7. Yard duty is your middle name.
8. You never trust the classroom clock.

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